Sacrifice

You ever feel like your are being consumed?

Like there is no you left because everything around you is taking their piece. You are left crumbling in the middle of a room, wanting to scream for help.

BUT would it matter?

Would anyone hear your voice?

Would anyone listen to the words that you say?

Would you even be able to share what it feels like to lose yourself?

You ever feel like you are being consumed?

Like you are disappearing right before your own eyes.

You don't recognize your reflection in the mirror.

You don't recognize the emotions that you are feeling. If you even have any left.

Nothing is left of the you that you thought you were.

You are empty and unfillable. Your only emotion is desperation.

You want someone to see you.

To call out to you.

To hold their hand out to you and save you from drowning.

BUT you look around and there is no one in sight that is willing to help. There are bodies and people but they don't hear the cries for help. They don't see the desperation in your eyes.

You blend in so well that no one even stops to notice you.

No one even stops notices you.

The world begins to spin. You fall to the ground in hopes that someone hears the crash and they look your way.

A simple look in your direction would give anyone a view of the struggles you are facing but no one is looking.

So instead, you pick yourself up and put a smile on your face.

You listen for other people's cries for help. You hold your hand out to stop someone else from drowning.

BECAUSE that is what you do.

You save others before yourself.

You give others your strength.

You allow others to flourish and grow while diminishing your own light. Diminishing your own soul.

You learn to live without.

You learn to deprive yourself of your own voice, your own hopes, your own goals.

You learn that your voice can be silenced and it makes other's lives easier.

So you retreat. You build this wall around yourself. You act like the dutiful wife, mother, lover, and friend all while being consumed and lost to the world around you because that's what we do.

We sacrifice ourselves.